Chapter 10

The state trooper took my statement at the Morrisville barracks the next morning. My sister sat beside me. Walter was asleep in the car with the engine running and the heat on. I told the truth, all of it, from the bitter taste of the blue pills to the sound of Maribel’s voice on the monitor.

Two days later, Luke was charged with domestic assault, unlawful restraint, and conspiracy to commit fraud. Maribel was suspended from the hospital pending an investigation. The nursing board opened a case. Rhonda lost her job and agreed to testify. The judge’s clerk was interviewed. The commitment paperwork was voided.

I didn’t go back to the farm. My sister’s apartment was small, but it was warm and safe. Walter took the downstairs bedroom, and I slept on the couch with my hand on my belly. The baby was due in three weeks.

On Christmas Eve, Luke’s lawyer called. He wanted to offer a deal. He said Luke would sign over the farm if I dropped the charges. I laughed and hung up.

The farm wasn’t mine to take. It was Walter’s. And Walter had already decided. He signed the deed over to his sister in Hardwick, a woman he trusted, with the condition that I could live there if I wanted. I didn’t want to. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

I wanted my baby to be born in a place where no one switched my vitamins. I wanted Walter to have a room with a window that got morning sun. I wanted to stop looking at every glass of water like it might make me sleep.

On New Year’s Day, I sat on my sister’s porch and watched the snow fall. Walter came out with a blanket around his shoulders and sat beside me.

“Blue pills,” he said.

“No more blue pills.”

He nodded. We sat in silence. The sky was gray and soft. The baby moved, a slow roll under my ribs.

“You’re going to be a good mother,” Walter said.

“I had a good teacher.”

He smiled. His hand found mine. We stayed there until the cold bit through our coats.

The trooper called a week later to tell me the SD card had been processed. The audio was clear. The timestamps matched. Maribel’s voice was unmistakable. Luke’s admission was enough to bury him. The case would go to trial, but the trooper said not to worry. They had everything.

I didn’t feel triumphant. I felt tired. I felt like I’d been holding my breath for four months and had finally let it out. When I thought about Luke’s hand on my cheek, I felt the sting all over again. When I thought about Maribel’s calm voice, I felt the cold.

But when I thought about Walter’s hand on mine, and the card in the evidence bag, and the trooper’s cruiser lights on the ice, I felt something else. Not safety yet. Not justice. Just the knowledge that I’d done it. I’d gotten the proof out.

The baby kicked, and I put my hand on my belly.

“We’re okay,” I said. “We’re going to be okay.”

Walter squeezed my hand. The snow kept falling. The road was still icy, but the sun was coming up over the ridge, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t afraid of the dark.